CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.

Celebrating Laynee

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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July Laynee Bug

I'm missing my sweet girl even more than usual.  How I would love to take her to see fireworks tonight, to watch her wide eyed wonder at the sights and sounds associated with Independence Day.  Laynee had an adorable little Red, White and Blue outfit that she wore last fourth.  I went through my files of pictures, in search of even one picture of this outfit.  I found one.  She's with her dear Jenna in this picture.  Upon seeing the picture, I had to see the outfit.  I had to see it, touch it, smell it, as if somehow it will bring her closer to me.  The middle drawer of her dresser is filled with Laynee.  The clothes are thrown in the drawer in a wild disarray.  The mess is so sweet to me for I know that she did this.  Her beautiful pudgy fingers touched these clothes, pulled the pants over her head, put her head through the arm holes and then stuffed everything back in when told to clean up. Touching them is like touching her.  I sniff desperately for a faint lingering scent of her.  I love this picture of her.  I love the childlike way that she is stuffing snacks into her mouth.  I love the messy hair so familiar on my not so ladylike girl.  Most of all, I love the toes, the wider than normal gap between the big toe and the second, a trademark of Down Syndrome.  There is nothing, not one single thing on this sweet child that I would have changed.  She was like a great fireworks display every day in our home.  She was joyful and vibrant and her messes were explosive. 

 I know that Laynee is celebrating freedom today as well.  Every moment is a celebration for her. 

Missing you sweet Laynee girl. Missing you so much!!!!!


  1. Lovely lovely post; beautiful daughters, sweet drawer full of memories. I'm so glad you found one to cherish. Let freedom ring.

  2. I have been thinking of Laynee girl so much this week. Having Lyuda here was a distraction for me. It seems now that I am dealing with alot of different emotions and with the wedding and all they are presenting themselves now. I thank our Lord for the joy she gave to me and my family. I thank you karol for sharing her with us. I just don't get it no matter how much I know God is in control, how His ways are the right way. May we all seek the freedom of Jesus that only He can give.

  3. I think 4th of July was Layne's holiday. She was such a firecracker. We celebrated the 4th of July every day she was with us. I miss her still.

    It is my dream that in heaven there will be a huge painting or needlepoint picture. Everyone's life in the whole world will be on that picture. Our life, plus the life of our loved ones will be shown to us. Will Layne's life be one ray of the sun, since it was so short. Or perhaps a drop of dew on the grass. Will Josephine's life be a beautiful flower, since she loved flowers so much. We don't know what heaven is like, but we can dream and even our dreams will come short, because we have nothing to measure heaven by. Nothing on earth is that wonderful.