CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.

Celebrating Laynee

You might want to scroll to the bottom of this page and pause the music before playing this video.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Easier but not Better

Well, my friends, we are in the midst of what might very well be the worst snowstorm I have ever experienced.  The snow started around 11:00 this morning and keeps dumping from the skies.  Add to that, gale force winds, and we have ourselves a blizzard.  The visibility is zero and I pray that no one is out on these roads because wherever they are headed, they will not make it. 

We got a call last night saying that school would be canceled today.  The last thing the school needed was a building full of students when the storm hit and no way to get everyone home.  Another call came in a short time ago notifying us of tomorrows cancelation as well.  Oddly,  the wind and snow is accompanied by thunder and lightning.  For those of you in the south, snow and lightning do not go together. 

I really do not mind the storm, as long as I can stay safe in my home with my children around me.  I went to work this morning but our office closed at noon.  The short drive home was enough to convince me that nothing was important enough for being out today.  After I got home, Jamee and I pulled out a puzzle.

 I love doing puzzles but it seems that snow days are the only time I take the time to work on one. Since a snow day usually happens only about once a year, I don't have the pleasure of puzzles very often.    Without fail, every time I do a puzzle, I think of Jim's grandma Fehr.  Working puzzles with her every Christmas Day is my dearest memory of her.  Usually, other family members would lose interest in the puzzle, which would leave Grandma and I to work together. She and I had some good talks over those pieces and I can still hear her soft laughter. 

Today, Jamee worked with me for awhile and then decided to take a break.  In the quiet, alone time that I had, I thought back to other puzzles we have done in the past.  I found that I could not remember doing last year.  That, of course, does not mean that it didn't happen.  Many things were not retained in my memory at that point in life.  The last puzzle I remember doing was when Laynee was here.  It stands out clear in my memory because she kept running past the table and swiping puzzle pieces.  She also kept wanting up beside me and would lean over the table, knocking pieces onto the floor.  It occurred to me that doing puzzles is something that is definitely easier without a toddler around.  There are many things that are easier, from a physical perspective.  Going to the store is easier, getting ready for work is easier, dinner time is easier.  Going out in the snow is easier without bundling a wiggling, squirming little girl.  Many things are easier to do without Laynee here.  I would rather have things be difficult because easier is definitely not better. 

No comments:

Post a Comment