CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.

Celebrating Laynee

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Friday, September 7, 2012

3 Years

Three years.  Three long and painful years.  In my mind the memories are fresh and painful as if it happened yesterday. In my heart it seems a lifetime ago since I last held her.  Three years and I still wake up wondering "How did we get here?"  "How could this happen?"  Three years and my heart still twists with longing for her.  My love for her remains desperate.  Three years since the worst moment of my life but three years since the best day of her life.  

Today, no matter how we try to pretend as if it is just another day, time stands still as we remember her last day.  Her love, her joy, her radiance, her simplicity.  I remember her smell and the sound of her soft laughter.  I remember and long for one more hug...........oh how I long for another squishy Laynee hug.  And to see her raise her hands up for her daddy to hold her close or raise her hands in declaration that she is "the prettiest girl in the world." There was just never a doubt she knew that she was most beautiful, most loved, most adored.   I remember all the beautiful attributes of this most precious child along with the horror of  her final moment. 

Three agonizing years since I've held her, three years closer to holding her again. Thank you, King Jesus for that hope that I will hold my baby again. Without this we could not, would not survive.