CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.

Celebrating Laynee

You might want to scroll to the bottom of this page and pause the music before playing this video.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Thanks RK

Special "THANKS" to RK who personalized Miss Laynee's blog to make it fitting for her.  RK and I "met" on a Down Sydrome forum in which several of us would go and share about our beautiful special children.  RK's daughter Braska is just a bit older than Laynee would be and she is lovely, much like Laynee in so many ways.  I often go to Braska's blog and read of the new, funny things that she does.  Though I've never seen her, she has become dear to me.  The peace and joy that radiates from Braska makes me miss Laynee and yet, in some strange way it fills a longing at the same time.

RK and I have been communicating via email to produce this background and making sure it was "just right" for Laynee.  It occurs to me that some who read the blog may not know what some of the little pictures or sayings are meant to represent.  If you've read more than one or two of my posts, then you know that Laynee loved horses and called them "heehee's."  My sister, Karla and her husband, Marty, live next door to us with their children, Danielle, Corey and Garrett.  Marty and Corey work diligently with their horses and the pasture lies between our homes with several horses running or grazing there.  While we no longer have a horse of our own Laynee never got tired of seeing uncle Marty's heehee's.  She would watch out the windows for her heehee's and made a beeline for them when we went outside.  I suppose we took her love for heehee's for granted as just one of those very normal things in our life, because I never got a picture of Laynee and her heehee's.  I will forever regret this omission.  Daddy placed one of her little toy heehee's in her hand at the visitation and she's still holding it. 

The pink cowboy boots along the side banner represent Laynee's "tomboy princess" nature.  The boots representing her tomboy side and the pink being oh so feminine.  Laynee had her own boots just like these.  The boots were placed on her casket at her funeral and at her burial. I hated to see those boots for the last time, but also found comfort in having them there with her. 

The words inside of the lasso say "the prettiest girl in the world." Laynee was beautiful in every way and we told her so often.  Laynee learned to raise both hands to the air when anyone would ask "who's the prettiest girl in the world?"  This brought smiles and laughter from many people.  She knew without doubt that Jalayne Grace Holmes was the prettiest girl ever.  My mom once told me that we should probably stop telling her she was so pretty, she might think too much of herself,  but I didn't agree.  Laynee would undoubtedly meet many challenges in her life and needed all the self confidence we could instill in her.  I know that she never questioned if we thought she was beautiful, she KNEW we did.  She was beautiful and smart and ever joyful.

The words "Our Forever Love" above her picture represent a song www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPlvDtpYi_g  that Jamee was singing just prior to the accident.  Laynee unknowingly became a vital part of molding and shaping each memeber of our family into who and what we are.  She is and always will be "Our Forever Love."

The picture of her with angel wings and the words "there are angels among us," believe it or not, was done before Laynee's death.  Last spring, Aunt Christine was babysitting for Laynee and took pictures and added the angel wings and words for a graphic design class.  She was much like an angel in the way that she touched lives. 

The background has a peaceful feel to me as I look at it.  There is also slight pang of aching regret.  I know that I cannot blog as most people blog.  I cannot tell of all the new exciting things that Laynee is doing.  I cannot brag about her accomplishments or post pictures showing her growth.  There will be no more funny stories or even frightening moments.  The background will not change with her.  This blog can only be filled with memories, many, many precious memories.  I thank our great God every day for Laynee, for every moment that we had with her, for enriching our lives with her very presence.  I pray that somehow, someway, He, in his sovereignty will work to bring good even from the painful loss of our Laynee.  Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God.

Thank you again RK for making Laynee's blog just perfect for her.  I know that she smiles when she sees it.


  1. You are more than welcome. And thank you for sharing your forever love, both your Lord and your Laynee, with all of us.

  2. Karol,

    I do not know RK, but she did a beautiful job
    with all that she added to your blog. Yes, everthing is so fitting for our precious Laynee girl. I can hear her say "heehees" as I look at the horses. She did love the horses
    and I feel so priveleged that we had the horses across the street that she wanted to see everytime she came to our house. She would get tired of looking at them and would want to go back to our house, she wasn't back 5-10 minutes and she wanted to go back to see the heehees, we probably made 10 trips back and forth-back and forth. We miss her so much
    and we can't imagine how you and your family is missing her. Thank God for the hope that we will she her again.

    We Love You,

  3. Karol,
    We love the blog. It is so fitting for our precious pretty girl Layne.
    We love you.

  4. Karol, Jim and family,
    You are in my thoughts and prayers. There are no words, but I know we have a comforter that sees the tears you cry, the broken heart that you have and He holds you.
    Love, anne

  5. Karol,
    Okay, I love the new blog page!
    It makes me feel so close to Laynee and the things that she adored. I can't help but to continue to scroll through her pictures and just smile at her precious face!
    The other night I had a dream about Laynee. It was so real. It was sad to me when I woke up and realized that it was just a dream, but I must say it felt good "to see" Laynee again. EVERYONE wanted her in my dream! You were allowing all of us to have her. You were so unselfishly allowing all of us to hold her. I had to think about that, as that is exactly how you were when Laynee was here. You always let us snatch her from you when we would see her. She was like a magnet! Everyone always wanted Laney. She was CONTAGIOUS!
    My heart was on Laynee tonight as we closed yet another cross country season. She will forever be in a cross country season. She will continue to live on in that sport each year. She will always be remembered in my heart. She is held so dear to me. I will always cherish that kiss/hug I got at that cross country meet on Labor Day Weekend. What a special gift she gave me that day. I remember going to the restroom to help you with Moise, and when we came out, Kevin had snatched her from, Ida, I think. Of course, I couldn't get to him fast enough to get her out of his arms and into mine. I am so glad that I did!

  6. Oh Karol, this is so precious. It is so fitting of laynee and I know if she could see it she would clap and raise her hands in approval. The horse boarder is the same as in Maggies room and anything to do with HeeHee's is inspiring to us as it was to Laynee. What a magnificent animal God made for us and He knew then how much Layner bugs was going to admire his creation. Praying for you always and have a blessed Thanksgiving. We will try to send some sunshine your way.

  7. Love it.......love it all. Special special little girl. My arm is around you much of the time. Can you feel it?

    love you,


  8. I cannot visit too often. I cry too much. Laynee was so lucky to get you guys for her family and you in turn were lucky to get her. It goofy, how God figures all that stuff out.