CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.

Celebrating Laynee

You might want to scroll to the bottom of this page and pause the music before playing this video.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Pay it Forward


Special Thank You "butterflymom" author of the blog "On KK's Butterfly Wings" for passing along the One Lovely Blog Award to me.  If I understand this correctly, my job from here is to pay it forward to 10 of my own favorite blogs.

This is a difficult task for me as I have come to love so many blogs.  I have found much comfort in the words of others. Before Laynee's accident I didn't even know that such a thing as blogging existed but now have found strength through reading how others navigate through grief.  I have found a special connection with many from the blog world.  There is safety in anonymity and yet, with all of these women I have found a common bond, a thread that joins us together from all different parts of the country. 
I have come to care deeply for many bloggers who have children with Down Syndrome.  Through their blogs I am able to watch the growth and developement of their beautiful children, longing for Laynee but rejoicing in the milestones of those still here.

I also find encouragement and advice from mother's of children with other, non DS, disabilites.  These women share in the challenges that we face daily with Moise. Seizure disorders, irregular sleep patterns, IEP (individualized education plan), Cerebral Palsy, Hearing Impairments, walkers, wheel chairs, choclear implants,  I can seek advice about it all from my blog friends.

Still other blogs I read for the simple fact that their lives appear so incredibly normal.  No child loss, no disabilities, just normal,every day life. I tend to be drawn toward those who's lives, by appearance, are not picture perfect. I am better able to connect with those who, like me, are just trying to make it in a world of imperfection.   One thing that I share with all of the blogs I read is a love and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Some, like myself, have had their faith shaken at it's very core.  Some struggle to find purpose in what God has allowed in their life.  Other's seem "unshakeable." I learn from all of them.

I have decided that I want to pass this award on to those who are walking along beside me on the grief journey.  It was this thing called grief that first led be to begin blogging and it is because of these women that I can recognize the road signs along this path.  Some have been on this road longer than I, others have just stepped into the "ugly shoes" of infant/child loss.  Some are angry at the injustice of life and we all understand this. There are those whose children never took one breath on earth and those who held their little one for only a few hours.  Some of the children struggled with lengthy illness, others were here one moment and gone the next.  Some of these mother's share with me the horror of finding their child lifeless.  Regardless of all the little details each of these, my blog friends, share one common bond......our children were beautiful and we miss them with every beat of our hearts. We are mother's whose hearts and souls have been left with searing pain the day our babies were taken before we were ready to give them back. 

Thank you to those who, through your own sorrow, have helped me to understand and stand up beneath my own.

Here are the rules
1. Accept the award and post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.
2. Pay it forward to 10 other bloggers.
3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they have been chosen.

1. A Little Slice of Heaven
2.  A Piece of the Pearson's
3.  A, B, and C's Mom
4.  The Big Picture
5.  She is Our Angel
6.  Beauty Will Rise
7.  Missing Mark
8.  Keeping Up With the Joneses
9.  Waiting for Morning
10.  A Daily Scoop


  1. Karol,
    I am so touched that you listed my blog (me) here in your 10. I don't recall who found who first, but I remember reading your story and being horrified by what you went through. But as I followed your posts and read more on your blog, I received so much comfort from your words. I would read about your struggles with faith and feel so so similar. I would read about how thankful you were for your husband and him being your strength, but then how your journeys have changed....and I felt I was on the same exact path. I am so glad that you have felt comfort from my blog, but know that I have gotten the reciprocal from yours, as much if not more. I hate that we share this pain, but there are some days that I'm not sure what I would have accomplished if I had not found the comfort from blogs like yours.

    Thank you to YOU.

  2. You truly do have a lovely blog and have touched my heart - you and your sweet girl.

    I am so glad to "know" you this way. Thanks again for writing.

    With love,

    Cathy in Missouri

  3. Thank you Karol for stopping by! So true, as the "firsts" really never end in this life, first tooth, first day of school, first of graduations, weddings ect. I know God has been Faithful thus far and one day I will get a "first" sight of Joel again, made whole and new! and you will too with sweet Jalayne!!!