CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The weekend will be filled with painful reminders of the emptiness that is in our hearts. Happy, excited children will be everywhere, reminding me that mine is no longer with me. I will hear the laughter of children and my ears will ache to hear that one husky little laugh that I haven't heard for so long. On Friday the girls and I are working in the lemonade shake up stand and every lemon will have the image of Laynee's scrunched up face. Shortcake will not taste as good as I will not be sharing it with her. My lap will be empty on Sunday morning, void of a squirmy little girl.
We will go. We will work. We will enjoy. But it will not be the same. It cannot be the same. We will see many people whom we have not seen for a long time. Old classmates often return for the festival. Most likely I will have to answer the question "how many children do you have now?" I may have to explain that my baby girl is in heaven. Without a doubt I will have to answer the question "How are you?' from those who care and know not that it is an impossible question. My heart will ache with sadness but I will do my best to enjoy. I will be surrounded by people, friends of today and those from long ago, but I will not see the face that I so long to see.
I love you sweet Laynee Grace. I know your festival in heaven is much better that the hot, sticky Tremont Turkey Festival. Your stroller is hanging on a hook in the garage. I wish I could take it down and load it in the van for you. I love you and miss you so much baby girl.