Isn't there a saying that says something like "stupid is as stupid does" or "stupid says and stupid is" or something like that? Obviously I'm not one to use the statement much. In fact I really am not fond of the word stupid. However, today I had an experience that has left me with no other word to descibe it ...... sometimes people say and do things that are just plain stupid. I do not think that they have evil intent, their motive is not one of viciousness, they just do not think. Their brain simply does not stop to think about how incredibly stupid are the words coming from their mouth.
I have already had my meltdown over this. Fortunately I was surrounded by great people who intervened and supported me. As the day has gone on, my sadness has turned to anger. I stand in disbelief at the cruel, callousness of some people. I want to strike out and hit something, instead I pray for grace and love for one who, right now, seems very unlovable.
This encounter involved a woman that I have always viewed as rather rude and borderline obnoxious. She began asking about my children and naturally Laynee's accident came up. The questions she asked were bold and heartless. Her face was an ugly grimace through the entire dialogue. She appeared disgusted and not in the least bit sympathetic. She kept saying "How could that happen?" "How did you let that happen?" It felt as if the walls of the room were closing in on me and there was a loud rushing sound in my head. I knew that I had to get away from this woman......and fast. I was either going to faint or injure the woman. I really don't remember much except that I left the room very abruptly.
I usually try not to make too much of the things that people say. I know that as a general rule, people are trying to be polite, they do not know what to say and sometimes say the wrong thing. However, there are times like this when a line is crossed and I cannot find it in me to believe that they were trying to be polite. My guess is that she was trying to fish for information. She wanted to know the answer to questions like "who was watching her?" and "where were you?" But her words came at as accusations.
"How did you LET that happen?" This suggests that we walked away from Laynee, knowing she was in danger, and ALLOWED her to die. I abhor any words, even if they were unintentional, that might suggest something so false. There is no end to the number of times our family has asked ourselves this question, "how did we let it happen?" This is a question that our adversary would love to destroy us with. To have a human being, a Christian woman ask something so ridiculous, can only be descibed as stupid.
CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.