Yesterday was my last day of operation as a small business owner. I spent the evening packing up all of the things that were not included in the sale of Java Junction. It's amazing how many personal things I had taken and accumulated there. On Monday I will meet the new owner for the final signing and notarization and I will turn the keys over to him. I can scarcely wrap my brain around the dramatic changes in my life in just over six months time.
There is an odd mix of relief and aching sadness as I close yet another chapter of my life. The coffee shop was a long time dream, which I was fortunate enough to live out. As I scurried around last night, gathering together my things and making sure everything was in order for the new owner, I remembered back to the planning phase of Java. There was so much excitement in taking an old depot and making it into a trendy coffee shop with just the right mix of old and new. Jim's expertise as a carpenter worked magic on the old building while the writing and pictures on the wall added personality and values to the atmosphere. While I left a whole wall full of railroad photos, I couldn't bring myself to leave the picture of Laynee on the tracks. It was with a deep, soul penetrating sadness that this picture was removed and another hung in it's place. My heart ached to see my employees walk out the door one last time. I have grown to care deeply about them, as though we were all a part of a family. Likewise there are many customers whom will sorely miss, those that came almost daily and often took the time to share. Yet somehow, amidst all of the sadness, there is also a sense of relief. The last few months I have struggled daily with going there. The joy seemed to leave the building right along with Laynee and it had begun to feel like a milstone around my neck. Java served a huge purpose in the months following the accident, for I question if I would have found the strength to get out of bed, were it not for Java demanding my presence. The quick sale of the business, only possible by the hand of almighty God, is testimony to me that it's purpose in my life has been achieved.
CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.