As I trudge along this path of grief, I do so with the keen knowledge that I am nothing and have nothing to bring before my God. I have been disrobed of status, reputation and prestige. I have no title, nor degree, nor experiece that is of any value to a God who calms the sea with one word. Any pride or pleasure that I may have once taken from my own human accomplishments or achievements has been snuffed out. Without the love and mercy of my God and His Holy Spirit I am nothing.
As I stand before my God today, stripped of everything but His love, I am achingly cognizant that the only thing I have to give is my broken heart. He does not need me, but he wants my life. The sole purpose for my existence on this earth is that of servitude. I am here only that I might bring glory to my God. When I consider such a role, I can only fall flat on my face before Him, knowing that I am unworthy, even to be called a servant. As I step into the future, with no business, no job, and no toddler to be mommy to, I can do nothing but recommit my life to him. I am stripped bare, undeserving and yet still I am His child. All that I can say is "Lord, here I am." There is soft, gentle healing that comes from the knowledge of who we are in Christ and the assurance that no human being, nor human experience can take that identity from us.
Commit your way unto the Lord
Trust in him and he will do this
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun
Psalms 37: 5&6