Today I find myself viewing Mother's Day from an entirely different perspective than ever before. As a daughter, this day is a day for remembering and appreciating my mother and all that she has done and continues to do. My mother played a dramatic role in shaping me into the woman that I am today. I think also of my mother in law, who raised up her son to be the man that I married. In my book, she did everything right because I could never ask for a better husband and father to my children. As a mother, this day is for loving and appreciating each of the children that God has blessed me with. I will never claim to be a perfect mother. I make mistakes, big ones, but I try and somehow, in spite of all my imperfections and failures, our children are shaping into beautiful young people.
On this day, I think of those who no longer have their mother. I have prayed for my brother's wife, who is spending her second Mother's Day without her dear mother. I've prayed also for my dear friend who's mother died in an accident when she was just a child. She has a new mother, but that does not change the fact that she has a mother in heaven. I've prayed for those who stuggle with infertility and may not feel like celebrating this day. There are those who've never married, or perhaps married later in life and therefore have no children, who may see this day as a painful reminder of a title they've never officially worn. Never does this day pass without my whispering a prayer for two mothers who gave birth to two of my children, as well as all other mothers who've chosen adoption. And for those who've found themselves in desperate circumstances and chosen abortion, I pray. Though I've prayed and thought of mothers in all of these different scenarios, I have never thought of those mothers whose child was taken to heaven before she was ready to let them go.
Today I am mother to 6 children, one in heaven and five who are very much alive. There is a sad mixture of emotion on this day. My arms and heart ache for my youngest child, whom I can no longer see, hear or touch. I continue to grieve for the child that is gone from this earth at the same time that I rejoice for the children with whom my God has so graciously given me another day. There is something so beautiful in having children on this earth. There is something sacred in having a child waiting for me in heaven.
CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.