CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.

Celebrating Laynee

You might want to scroll to the bottom of this page and pause the music before playing this video.

Monday, March 7, 2011

18 months

In three words I can sum up
everything I've learned about life
"it goes on."
~Robert Frost~

As I wrote the date today, 3/7/11, like a punch in the gut I realized that today marks 18 months.  In fact right now the time on my computer reads 6:25 pm, which is about exactly the time that she fell into our pool that Monday evening.   Not a single month has passed in which the 7th has not had this same effect on me

Time is irrelevant.  It could have been yesterday or an entire lifetime ago.  There is, deep within me, a quiet resignation, that this pain will not get better with the passage of time.  I have come to understand and even accept this as truth.   As life moves on and days turn to months and months to years, we learn to function beneath the weight of sorrow.  We live, we laugh, we love.  As surely as our love for Jalayne is forever, so also is our grief for her. 

We have been on a journey like none other and our Lord has never left our side.  He's been with us in the deepest moments of despair and through Laynee, he has brought heaven ever closer to us.  There is only one thing that has remained certain through it all...........God is good all the thime. 



  1. Prettiest ... no truer of a statement.

    On a night like I have had tonight,talking with my friend,who will,short of a miracle,have to release her child to God shortly,I have to hold on to your words,"God is good all the time."If you my amazing blog friend,can say that,I certainly can.

    Sending love and prayers.

  2. Little **pumpkin.** Every picture...her personality is "bursting" off the page.

    I love seeing her - and also, hurt and ache with each picture. I always think how seeing these is so precious and yet a knife through the heart. You know this better than anyone.

    You are right; God is good all the time. We are REALLY going to know that when the trumpet sounds and the dead are raised - forever. We know it now, but we know it by faith. Then, we will know it by sight and with no holds barred. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

    Missing your Laynee,

    Cathy in Missouri

  3. 18 months. How can it be?

    Heck, how can it be that she's not running in the other room as you read this or clamoring for your attention? How can it be that *this* kind of "anniversary" is part of your life? How can it be that I was robbed of the chance to see her in all her glorious energetic action? Wow, that seems a selfish thing to say, but how I do wish I'd have been able to see these pictures in motion, see her play with my girls in the living room and outside with her hee hee's. Someday...

  4. I so enjoy reading you blog. I am not sure how I came it but my heart breaks everytime I read it. You are such a wonderful woman and mother. Layne is so so beautiful. What a perfect little angle to look over you and your family. I too lost a baby and I like to think about him playing with the other beautiful children in heaven.