My heart is grateful that 20 years ago there was no magic window that would allow us to see into our future. As we dressed and prepared for our wedding, we were naive and idealistic, perhaps even painfully ignorant. I think that if we could have seen what lay before us, we would have turned away and said "No way, we can't do that." Indeed, I think that we would have said that "we WON'T do that." Yet God, in his infinite wisdom, kept these things from us. He did not allow us to see that we would have four beautiful biological children. He did not tell us that adoption would be a part of our future. He so wisely withheld the fact that severe disabilites would be our life. We didn't know that we would be blessed by Down Syndrome or that it would be snatched away from us in one breath. All of these things have come to us like waves on the sea: at times soft and gentle, while at other times, fierce and crashing.
Our Lord has stood by us through the mountains and the valleys. He has granted us mercy in the face of our many mistakes and grace in the times of great trials. Jim and I have slipped many times, we have often lost sight of our Lord, but He, in his great love, is not letting go of us. He holds onto us when we think we're bigger than we really are and he shows us the way when we are lost. He has kept us faithful to one another, and has used great trials to help us see that our marriage is a gift. He has grown us together.
Today, on our 20 year anniversary, I stand in awe of how our God has used the death of our beautiful little girl to strengthen us against all odds. Jim has been my rock and my comfort through this most treacherous storm. Though we've lost sight of this from time to time, "the Lord is our shepherd, that's all we want."
What therefore God hath joined together
let not man put asunder