It also occured to me that a year ago Susan's family was in the very place that I am in right now. They were remembering the events that took place just 12 months earlier. Though I am ashamed to admit this, last year I likely did not remember that September 2 marked the date of her passing. I undoubtedly spent that day without even thinking of or praying for her family. I have no excuse, no defense, except to say "I didn't know." I did not know that the deep, unspeakable pain does not lessen with time. It was lost on me that the sadness becomes etched into one's very soul. I had no idea what it was to miss someone so desperately. It is with great regret that I think of the many people close to me who have expereinced the death of a loved one, and know that I did not remember their pain a year later.
I know that many will say that the death of a child is not the same as the death of a parent. Others may say that death after a lengthy ilness is different from tragic, unexpected death. There is no denying either of these facts. There is a difference, I'm sure, but being different does not make one any worse than the other. Being different does not mean that the pain is less or that they are not missed as much.
I had to smile today as I thought of Susan's mother, Miriam, and Laynee walking hand in hand in heaven. I can imagine her laughing and smiling at Laynee's silly ways. I even had to laugh as I thought of Miriam trying to keep up with my busy little Laynee Bee. I would imagine that, because they both loved Dale, Susan and the girls, they spent the day watching over them today.
And he shall give his angels charge over thee,
to keep thee in all thy ways.
Psalm 91:11
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