Loving Laynee: 9-11

I awoke this morning with heavy heart, not for my own grief but for the grief of thousands of families who lost so much in the attacks on 9-11. Perhaps the fact that it comes so soon after the anniversary of Laynee's accident makes me even more aware than I would have been otherwise. While none of us will ever froget the horrific events of that day, I know that the families of the victims were thrown into a life long path of grief and sorrow. I know that when untimely death strikes a family, the pain lasts a lifetime.

All of us remember that day in great detail. It was a day that made history. It was the greatest devastation that our generation has ever witnessed. It was a devastation made worse by it's nature, not an act of God, but a direct act of hate and violence against thousands of innocent and unsuspecting human beings. My heart aches for the those whose hearts feel freshly wounded today. Those who have, by the grace of God, gone on but are forever changed. For many of these families, the term "lost a loved one" is truly appropriate as many bodies were never recovered. These families did not have the closure of saying good bye and a proper burial or cremation. There are those grieving today who lost sons and daughters and life's natural cycle was interrupted. Others lost fathers, mothers, husbands, wives and some lost multiple loved ones. Some struggle with Post Traumatic Stress and will never be the same as a result of having witnessed something so unnatural and heinous. The enormity of this event and it's effects, not only on our country but on the entire world, is too much for the human mind to comprehend.

As for myself, I, like everyone else, clearly recall that day's events. Moise was only 9 months old but much like a newborn. After months of being in the hospital, we were finally home with him and trying to adjust back to a normal life. Brock and a little boy I was babysitting were here playing in the living room. My friend Ruth had stopped by briefly, though I cannot remember why. Jim called and told me to "turn on the TV because the Twin Towers have been hit by planes" I really could not comprehend what he was saying. Okay so planes hit the Twin Towers, so........? Jim's voice has a sense of urgency and he said "it looks like a terrorist attack." As I turned on the tv I still wasn't really getting what was so big about this, my mind was so focused on being mommy and the survival of my youngest son. But then I saw. I saw what "planes crashing into the Twin Towers" meant. I saw that without a doubt this was a deliberate act. I saw the ripple effect of the impact on the towers, the impact on the entire nation. As I sat there on my knees with my baby in my arms and a little boy flanking each side, in front of the TV, I watched as first one and then another Tower, buckled and fell, taking thousands of lives. The two little boys watched my face closely with concern as tears ran down my face. My my sister and her husband, an American airlines pilot, were moving into the house across the street. I thanked God for his saftey. I stayed glued to the tv that day, my emotions raging between anger, fear and sorrow.

It was a day that is etched into the minds of all but for the families it is the day that their lives crumbled right along with the towers. My small human mind cannot begin to know how to specifically pray for these families. So I just pray, lifting them up and knowing that we have a powerful God who knows the needs of each one. Our God was not surprised by the events of 9-11. He was grieved, I am certain, but not surprised. And somehow, though sometimes it's hard to understand, I know that God is good.........all the time.