The last few days have been difficult for many of us here on earth. It seems almost impossible to grasp the reality that it has been two years since you went to be with Jesus. Two years since we got to hold you, kiss you or hear your sweet bubbling laughter. I thought of you all day today. Sometimes I would think of you and smile, other times I just couldn't keep the tears from falling. Whether I am smiling or crying there is a pain in my heart that never stops hurting.
Today I visited you at your grave three times. First Jade and I stopped by, then Joyce and I stopped on our walk. But then I went again because I needed to be alone with you there for a little while. As I sat there in the grass, looking at all the beautiful flowers and gifts around your grave, I couldn't help noticing that many hearts were broken the day you went to heaven. Many people hurt today because many people love you.
Sometimes my own heart feels overwhelmed by how much I love you. Perhaps my whole purpose in being your mommy was to show you what it means to be love. I think that I loved you even before you came into existance. The first moment I saw you, you were loved. When we brought you home and the kids gathered around for their first glimpse of you, you were loved. All those nights of sitting and rocking you in the chair, I love you. It was because you were loved that you endured surgery on your tiny little heart. Out of love, we sang to you and read books to you and danced with you in our arms. Love bathed you and dressed you and combed your hair. It was with love that I made your large bowl of rice cereal and strawberries every morning. Love was with you when you wandered out of sight and into the pool. It was love that tried to breathe life back into you and every compression upon your chest was filled with love. Love followed behind the ambulance. A multitude of love fell upon knees of prayer for you that night. Tears of love fell upon your silent, peaceful face. Love went with you when your body was placed beneath the earth and love said good bye one last time. Because of this great love, pain is etched into our souls. Love remembers the way you smell, the sound of your laughter and the light of your smile. Love both laughs and cries at your memory. For two years, love has remained and has not diminished. Out of love, we ache for you and long for heaven. From the very beginning, til the very end, and far, far beyond, you are loved. Love never fails, love never ends. Forever Love.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH