Good Morning Layne,
I know that your birthday in heaven is better than the birthday party we have here, but I still wish you were here. I would hold you close in my arms and I would dance and sing "happy birthday to you." If I close my eyes I can see you throwing your head back and laughing. I can hear your laughter in my mind but I wish I could hear it with my ears. My heart hurts a lot because I want to see your big smile on your birthday.
You would get to choose where we go out tonight. It's good to have your birthday on a Saturday because you get to go out ON your birthday. I think maybe you would choose McDonald's. They have the best chicken nuggets, don't they? Do you know that silly Brock went in the play equipment the other day? Grant and Guito told him to and he couldn't figure out how to get to the pink slide. Now he knows though so he could help you find the pink one, since that would be your favorite. All those balls at McDonald's, I'm not sure they have them anymore, but I sure know they would make your hair stand straight up. You have to keep your socks on though. You cannot play in the equipment if you take your socks off. After you blow out all your candles you get to lick the cake and frosting off of them. That's what the birthday girl gets to do. No one else. You get to pick what piece of cake you get. I bet you would want the one with the big 3 on it so that you can remember you are not 2 anymore. Daddy likes one of the middle pieces best, but on your birthday you don't have to save it for him if you don't want too.
I think that you weren't here long enough. I also know that God is much smarter than me. You know, don't you? You know why God wanted you in heaven. Maybe he decided you were too perfect to be down here with all of us who aren't perfect. I really don't know but I'm trying hard to trust God.
We are going to send some balloons to you today. Pink ones. You'll love those balloons and you can share them with some of the other kids up there in heaven. When we send them off, know that every one of them is about how much we love you. We will put your Tiara out on your grave. We know that you are not there, but everyone who goes there will remember that you were the princess, and like Danielle said in her note, princesses get what they want. You can look down here and see your cake too. A cake for our princess. It's not a big party like the one you get to have in heaven but it means we love you so much and we will never, ever forget that you were the princess.
If I could, I would touch your forehead with mine and look in your eyes, straight down to heart and ask you, like I always did, "Laynee Grace, why do I love you so much?"
I love you with every breath that I breathe. I miss you with every beat of my heart.
I love you, I love you, I love you
PS. I think that Laynee would love it if you popped in and visited her virtual princess birthday party at http://www.braskabear.blogspot.com/. It's a stunningly beautiful party of princesses
CS Lewis once said that "grief is like the sky, it covers everything." In recent weeks, our family has found that this is so very true. It seems that there is no right or wrong way to travel this path of grief. I have created this blog in hopes that some day we will be able to look back on our journey and see written proof that our great God never leaves us. God is good all the time.